Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!

Pride

Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.

Selfishness

It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!

Self-righteousness

Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂

Challenge:

Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Follow me on Pinterest: My account name is Shekinah Bongco

Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

Advertisements
Standard
Blog Series, Life Lessons

The Suicide Series [The Victim Mentality]

Hey ya’ll I’m back! I’m so excited to share with you the first installment of this blog series. If you haven’t read the introduction for this series, you may read it here. Now that you have an idea on what this series will be about, let’s just, hop right into it.
Our Current Mindset
Have you ever felt insecure? Ya know, that feeling when you flip through magazines and see pictures of models who have perfect bods. On the other hand, you check yourself in front  of the mirror and see… well, the girl with Tina the talking tummy. Oh well, so much for my white chicks reference.
If you haven’t felt insecure [which I highly doubt], great. I’m so happy for you, but have you ever felt so dirty? You look at your past and you see dirty old you doing things that you now regret and you just feel so… worthless. Shame just fills you up and it’s as if there’s no hope. It’s as if you can’t change. It’s as if you’re stuck in a black hole and nobody can ever take you out.
Or maybe you’ve been bullied. Maybe life’s been hard for you. They’d laugh at you. Throw inside jokes about you, or even leave you all alone at lunch. Trust me, Katie, from the Mean Girls, is not the only one who has experienced that. I did. Maybe you did, too. Did this experience bring a traumatic effect in your life that you, all of a sudden, fear rejection? And because of this fear you see yourself pushing people away [even people you love] in order to avoid social interaction and well, eventually avoid pain.
These experiences show a pattern and if we can identify it, we can see that it’s all about some negative thoughts that may be resting in our brains. We must know that these are lies. These are ALL LIES. We must remember that the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but Christ has come to give us life and life to the full!
God’s Intervention
While I was battling with these thoughts, insecurities, feelings and fears, God revealed some things that changed my perspective. Here are some of what He revealed to me:
Insecurity
He revealed that the reason why we are insecure is because we do not delight in the way He created us. We compare ourselves with others and it just makes us miserable. If we can just shift our focus on him and see His amazing design then we might just praise Him cause we are created after His own image. We should not settle for the world’s standard. We are His masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fear of Rejection
He told me that the reason why we fear rejection is because we are too afraid to get hurt by other people. The result of this is pushing people away so that we won’t get hurt anymore. This is the reason why sometimes, we just act like losers who claim to be worthless. NO! It shouldn’t be that way. It says in John 1:12, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”. That’s awesome news! We are God’s children! [That is, if we’ve accepted Him as Lord and saviour already]. If we are children of The King, scratch that, THE KING OF KINGS, then what does that mean? That means that we are princesses and princes! If we just focus on Him and not on ourselves and our surroundings, then we would find out that we have been ACCEPTED already! Not by any insignificant person, but by the KING of KINGS! WOW!
Worthlessness and Hopelessness
It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. For those of us who feel like there’s no hope, there’s good news. If we have accepted Christ, it is said in His word that if we are in Christ, then we are his new creation. Let’s not be stuck in the past. God is allowing us to move on! We must remember that He has already made us new. Our worth should be based on the finished work of Jesus Christ and not on ANYTHING ELSE. We should put our hope in Him. He makes ALL things new and that includes, you.
You may be reading this thinking, “Shekinah, you just don’t know my situation!! You don’t know how broken I am!!!”. Well, I’ve said that in the past [depression stage] and I’ve just realized that my focus wasn’t on Him. Maybe, just maybe, the reason why He allowed these thoughts to linger in our minds is for these thoughts to break us, so in our broken state, we may find ourselves whole in Him.
Let’s Crush it: The Victim Mentality
You are not a victim anymore! You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus! We are not slaves of sin, but we are slaves of righteousness! Enough is enough. We should not allow the enemy to put our focus on ourselves. We can live victorious lives! We must fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of our faith.
Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are loved. Know that you are accepted, not rejected. You are loved and you’re not hated. Have you surrendered your victim mentality to Christ yet?
Challenge:
Say a short prayer thanking God for creating you in His image and likeness. Thank Him for accepting you as His Child. Thank Him for freeing you from being a victim of your past, your fears and your feelings.
Standard
Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Ghost of The Past Takes a Visit.

Hi everyone. I’m back. I will take the challenge of posting a blog post a day (as if I can do that). Anyway, today I’ll be talking about a very VERY personal topic which is my past. 🙂 I’ve joined our Church’s mid-year prayer and fasting and I was asking God to change my heart. Apparently, I’ve been reminded of my past and IT. DID. NOT. FEEL. GOOD. Do you know the feeling of opening a wound and putting some salt in it, nope RUBBING some salt in it? Yep, that’s what I felt. Well, not literally though. I got reminded of my past and it just haunted my mind. I’ve been staring at walls and I kinda ate tons of food. And when I say TON… I mean A LOT. (You’d even wonder if there’s more space in my big ol’ tummy). I’ve been asking God if it is possible for me to change. I mean, I’ve been struggle with my attitude and I’ve been TRYING SO HARD to be “good”. You see, I just gave up yesterday. I felt like I just CANNOT do it anymore. I give up. I just can’t change for the better, but God is so great. He reminded me that truly, I CANNOT do it on my own. I cannot change myself. Only His spirit can! He reminded me of things that I needed to remember during this pruning season and here’s a list of my struggles and what He told me about these.

     I am such an envious and jealous person.

                     This is an awful struggle that I have had since I was young. I’ve always wanted to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, so whenever someone better comes along the envious and jealous side of me, NATURALLY comes out. I just can’t control it. I would feel so bad cause someone is better than me. God is just good for reminding me that I should not be a jealous person, He created me fearfully and wonderfully that is why I need to focus on pleasing only ONE audience, and that is Him.

     I am such an insecure human being.

It’s pretty obvious that when a person becomes jealous he or she has some insecurity issues. I’ve had insecurity issues ever since and I’ve been struggling a lot with this. The Lord is good for reminding me to put on my helmet of salvation which assures me of my security in Him. I am His princess and I am His masterpiece. Other people may be prettier than me, but I must remember that my security should not depend on that, on my grades (YES, I am SUCH a grade conscious kiddo, ever since nursery. HAHAHA. More on that later), and on anyone else, but Him. 🙂

      I am such a grade conscious person.

Some people don’t care about grade conscious people, but some people just find us pretty annoying. We worry about the slightest things in school and we get sad if we don’t get our goal in school. I’ve always been a grade conscious person. It strengthened now that I’m in college because I currently have a scholarship grant so I just felt that I needed to exert extreme effort in getting my grades up in the air (what even am I saying? I lack sleep. HAHAHA). God reminded me that my performance in school should never define who I am. He also reminded me that He loves me NO MATTER WHAT. He also told me that I should be more concerned with how I treat people in school more than my grades, because He is a relational God and He doesn’t want me to have broken relationships just because of my grades.

I am TOO proud.

Oh yes, I’ve been extremely boastful about who I am and what I can do that I sometimes forget to give God the glory. Also, I tend to forget to humble myself before Him and THAT AIN’T GOOD. He reminded me that I should not think highly of myself and instead consider others better than me. 🙂

ETC.

There are several other things that I have battled with (and I’m still battling with) and I couldn’t name these all in my blog post (trust me, that would be a bore). The point is, God reminded me that if I remain in Him and humble myself before Him, He will renew me like never before. He also reminded me of 1 John 1:9 (ESV) “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”. I wrote about my past not to confess my sins to God publicly. I’ve already done this and I wrote this to write about what I’ve been learning in this journey with The Lord. If you are reading this and if I have done something wrong to you, I ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that I am weak and imperfect. I hope that you may forgive me for whatever it is that I have done to you. Be it backstabbing, gossiping, you name it! I hope that you confront me and I hope that we can talk about it, for us to fix our relationship. I am willing to receive feedback and I am willing to learn how to improve with my behaviour. 🙂

To end this blog post, I would like to say that I feel blessed because God has reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which states “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. This is such an encouraging verse because even if I am imperfect, God’s perfect love washes over my sin and continually makes me new. This news is so refreshing. 🙂 I would like to encourage you today! If you feel like your past is haunting you, do not fret! Confess it to the Lord and He will forgive you. He will continually heal you. He has won the victory! IT IS FINISH! 🙂 I just pray that we continually live lives pleasing to Him. 🙂 Yes we will stumble, but we have the power to get rid of ourselves. 🙂 No longer do we live but Christ lives in us. 🙂

P.S. The Picture is not mine. Credits to Kat Uytiepo. 🙂

Standard