Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!

Pride

Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.

Selfishness

It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!

Self-righteousness

Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂

Challenge:

Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Follow me on Pinterest: My account name is Shekinah Bongco

Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

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Personal, Testimony

Confessions of a teenage godmother

A year ago, my cousin felt extreme pain on her right arm due to The Big C. Yep. Cancer. I don’t want to give out details because I can still vividly recall everything, and it hurts me.  Anyway, a year ago, when she told us that her doctors told her that she only had 6 months to live, I felt this burden in my heart to go to her the next day. She texted us on a Thursday and I do not have classes on Fridays, so right after praying for her, I asked my mom if I may go to her place in order for me to take care of her. Mom was gracious enough to say yes, and from then on, my Friday mission to help her started. There’s this certain joy that serving her gave me. As much as I would like to recall those wonderful days, I’d want to focus on a new season that God has given me. I call this new season, “On Fridays We Wear Lavender: EXTENDED EDITION!

Confessions of a teenage godmother

There is a story behind the name of this new season. You see, when I was still doing my mission work, my cousin would always tell me to instruct everyone to decorate her wake with lavender and fuchsia pink because both of those are her favourite colors. When she went to heaven, true enough, our family decorated her wake with those colors. And I told myself that my Fridays will ALWAYS be reserved for service. That is, service for people who need help. True enough, God gave me a great opportunity to finally make this happen. God opened doors for me to take care of my little nephew and godson, my cousin’s youngest, Raizen. I thank God for giving me such a great opportunity. He will be with us for him to continue studying as a Kinder 2 student. I know it will be a handful, but if this is what needs to be done in order for change to happen inside of him, then I’d be glad to be a part of that transformation.

It is currently his third day in our lovely home and it is also his second day in school. I am responsible for feeding, clothing, and teaching him. In other words, I am in charge of his well-being. So far, there have been radical changes inside of him. He has been telling me that he feels loved and accepted. He also repeatedly say thank you to our family for accepting him in our home. It is great that he has changed a lot since we got him. He became more obedient, more respectful and more responsible than ever. I praise God for allowing our family to be used by Him. Also, I am seeing certain changes inside of me. I suddenly became this responsible and caring person that makes sacrifices for his wellbeing [I must say, I did not know that I had this side. EVER]. Instead of making plans for myself, I now plan to make my schedule work for the both of us. Furthermore, instead of thinking of myself, I am now thinking of him and I am now thinking of ways for him to feel that he is loved and accepted.

I would also like to thank God for allowing me to study Psychology. It helped our family a lot, especially in helping him in his healing process. I cannot disclose information here, but there are certain areas that needed the field of Psychology and I thank God for using me to understand certain things that only psychologists can.

I’d like to end this by stating that yes, I may be a teen and yes, I may be young, but I will never let that hinder me from allowing God to use me mightily for His glory. One day, I know that all this hard work will pay off. I know that our God is the God who restores, heals and transforms. Allow Him to use you today! Be available and be ready to step out of your comfort zone! God will use you mightily today! Good day and may God bless you! 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal

Kissing Learned Helplessness Goodbye!

So Boomer’s back into his wild self. He just can’t stop biting us! So Shekinah has to do what Shekinah has to do. I put him inside his cage as his punishment, but I didn’t lock the door. I told my sister to watch if Boomer will come out, because my theory is that he will not go out of his cage because of learned helplessness (See how I incorporated Psychology in my everyday life. Man. Lol). Learned helplessness was theorised from an experiment by Seligman. It means that an organism who experiences consecutive unpleasant stimuli wouldn’t do anything at all to escape those negative experiences even if there is an escape. I don’t wanna be all psych-y, just look it up if you wanna know more about it.

Boomer Bongco

What I’ve noticed in this situation is that I am like Boomer. We are all like Boomer. Sometimes we just do nothing about our situation because we feel hopeless, we still feel like we are victims. We still act as if we are in that cage of sin. We still cheat because we feel like we’re never intelligent enough. We talk back to our parents because we are “teenagers” and teenagers are supposed to be this way. We talk about some people behind their backs because we just can’t help but notice their flaws. We justify what we do and in the end, deep down inside, we just know that the reason why we compromise is because we feel like we can’t help ourselves. It’s just “human nature”, we justify.

What happened to Boomer a while ago reminded me that I AM FREE. You are free! We just need to remember that. You see, all we gotta do is acknowledge that we are free, open that gate and go away. In other words, all we gotta do is FLEE FROM SIN. As it is written in the Bible, “Flee from the devil and He will flee from you”. Today may we be reminded that we are free. We should acknowledge that we have the One who broke the chains! We are free from sin! There is hope in this life after all! 🙂 It’s just amazing to remember this in times like this. In times when I’m struggling my way to go back to God.

So to the person who’s been thinking about suicide because you believe there is no hope, to the person who’s thinking of getting that blade to hurt yourself tonight, to the person who cries yourself to sleep in that same corner every night, remember this. THERE IS HOPE IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. We are free! I mean, I may not know your situation right now and I may never understand you, but please remember how much God loves you. He wants to set you free from your bondage today! Have you made that decision of accepting Him as Lord and Savior yet? If you haven’t, then accept Him now, because “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, then you will be saved”. And being saved gives us the amazing power of the Holy Spirit. The power to say no to sin. The power to love others. The power to do what God wants us to do, only by His grace. Sistah, brother, there is hope and we can find that hope not in material possession, not from anything or anyone else but we can find that hope in Christ and in Christ ALONE. 🙂

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