Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [People Pleasing Mentality]

I would like to apologize for the delay. I praise the Lord for giving me strength to write this. May He speak life to all of us. Read the first two installments here and here. You may check the introduction here. Let’s start!

Our Current Mindset

Look at yourself in front of mirror. See a beautiful person? Probably not. There’s always someone better. There’s always someone… bitter.

You see that girl with the perfect nose and the perfect brows? You’re not like her. You see those bullies who threw not-so-child-friendly-words at you? They will always be happy, and you? Yes you, well you’ll always be miserable. You will never be one of them. You will always be plain old you. You are meant to stay that way. Poor you.

You go to the department store and see what these people like. “Do I really need this?”, you ask yourself. You give a sigh and throw this thing in your shopping cart. All for them to accept you. All for these people to love you.

Did it work? Did they instantly love you just the way you are? Probably. Or not.

God’s Intervention

Anger and unforgiveness.

You see your bullies and what do you feel? Anger. You see those who have wronged you and see that they’re happy as can be. Will you forgive them? Not in their wildest dreams. Anger. Unforgiveness.

Imagine if God did not send His only son for the forgiveness of man. What will happen to us? Remember, we’ve mocked Him. You may say, “Hey, I never mocked God. I love Him so much!!”. Well, we’re all sinners, so in one point or another, we’ve been part of those who mocked Him. Imagine His anger poured out on us. Well, that’s a little creepy. It’s amazing to think that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us from ALL of our unrighteousness. He makes us clean. Why then, can’t we forgive those who have hurt us?

Jealousy and Envy

See those girls who seem to be living the “perfect life”? You greet them and admire them, but deep inside your rotten heart, jealousy and envy overflows. You’d try to be like them so that other people will like you as well. God has promised us a new heart. God has promised us a brand new start. God made you fearfully and wonderfully! Some people may not appreciate who you are, but He wants you to know that He loves you! He is pleased with you!

Let’s Crush it: The People Pleasing Mentality

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. It’s time to stop impressing other people. It’s time to please the only one who can make you whole. People will always have their opinion of you. Some will like you, some won’t. It’s a fact of life. Another fact that we should focus on is that we have an audience of ONE! If we continually please other people, then we will be tired, because different people want you to change, one way or another. But God, He looks at you with love. We have the guide to please Him and that is the Bible. Read it, meditate on it and live it. The Lord is pleased with you! Die to yourself. Die to your craving of people’s attention. Be alive in Christ, and in Christ alone.

Challenge: Say a short prayer thanking God for loving us and for forgiving us from all of our sins if we ask Him to. Ask Him for forgiveness if you’ve buried jealousy, envy, anger and unforgiveness in your hearts. Apologize also for your people pleasing mentality and ask Him to renew your mind about this. Ask Him for strength in order for you to fix your eyes on Him alone.

Ask people for forgiveness if you’ve been angry, unforgiving, jealous or envious of them. Ask God to heal your relationship.

Fix your eyes on Jesus! God bless us all. 🙂

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Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!

Pride

Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.

Selfishness

It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!

Self-righteousness

Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂

Challenge:

Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Follow me on Pinterest: My account name is Shekinah Bongco

Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Ghost of The Past Takes a Visit.

Hi everyone. I’m back. I will take the challenge of posting a blog post a day (as if I can do that). Anyway, today I’ll be talking about a very VERY personal topic which is my past. 🙂 I’ve joined our Church’s mid-year prayer and fasting and I was asking God to change my heart. Apparently, I’ve been reminded of my past and IT. DID. NOT. FEEL. GOOD. Do you know the feeling of opening a wound and putting some salt in it, nope RUBBING some salt in it? Yep, that’s what I felt. Well, not literally though. I got reminded of my past and it just haunted my mind. I’ve been staring at walls and I kinda ate tons of food. And when I say TON… I mean A LOT. (You’d even wonder if there’s more space in my big ol’ tummy). I’ve been asking God if it is possible for me to change. I mean, I’ve been struggle with my attitude and I’ve been TRYING SO HARD to be “good”. You see, I just gave up yesterday. I felt like I just CANNOT do it anymore. I give up. I just can’t change for the better, but God is so great. He reminded me that truly, I CANNOT do it on my own. I cannot change myself. Only His spirit can! He reminded me of things that I needed to remember during this pruning season and here’s a list of my struggles and what He told me about these.

     I am such an envious and jealous person.

                     This is an awful struggle that I have had since I was young. I’ve always wanted to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, so whenever someone better comes along the envious and jealous side of me, NATURALLY comes out. I just can’t control it. I would feel so bad cause someone is better than me. God is just good for reminding me that I should not be a jealous person, He created me fearfully and wonderfully that is why I need to focus on pleasing only ONE audience, and that is Him.

     I am such an insecure human being.

It’s pretty obvious that when a person becomes jealous he or she has some insecurity issues. I’ve had insecurity issues ever since and I’ve been struggling a lot with this. The Lord is good for reminding me to put on my helmet of salvation which assures me of my security in Him. I am His princess and I am His masterpiece. Other people may be prettier than me, but I must remember that my security should not depend on that, on my grades (YES, I am SUCH a grade conscious kiddo, ever since nursery. HAHAHA. More on that later), and on anyone else, but Him. 🙂

      I am such a grade conscious person.

Some people don’t care about grade conscious people, but some people just find us pretty annoying. We worry about the slightest things in school and we get sad if we don’t get our goal in school. I’ve always been a grade conscious person. It strengthened now that I’m in college because I currently have a scholarship grant so I just felt that I needed to exert extreme effort in getting my grades up in the air (what even am I saying? I lack sleep. HAHAHA). God reminded me that my performance in school should never define who I am. He also reminded me that He loves me NO MATTER WHAT. He also told me that I should be more concerned with how I treat people in school more than my grades, because He is a relational God and He doesn’t want me to have broken relationships just because of my grades.

I am TOO proud.

Oh yes, I’ve been extremely boastful about who I am and what I can do that I sometimes forget to give God the glory. Also, I tend to forget to humble myself before Him and THAT AIN’T GOOD. He reminded me that I should not think highly of myself and instead consider others better than me. 🙂

ETC.

There are several other things that I have battled with (and I’m still battling with) and I couldn’t name these all in my blog post (trust me, that would be a bore). The point is, God reminded me that if I remain in Him and humble myself before Him, He will renew me like never before. He also reminded me of 1 John 1:9 (ESV) “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”. I wrote about my past not to confess my sins to God publicly. I’ve already done this and I wrote this to write about what I’ve been learning in this journey with The Lord. If you are reading this and if I have done something wrong to you, I ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that I am weak and imperfect. I hope that you may forgive me for whatever it is that I have done to you. Be it backstabbing, gossiping, you name it! I hope that you confront me and I hope that we can talk about it, for us to fix our relationship. I am willing to receive feedback and I am willing to learn how to improve with my behaviour. 🙂

To end this blog post, I would like to say that I feel blessed because God has reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which states “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. This is such an encouraging verse because even if I am imperfect, God’s perfect love washes over my sin and continually makes me new. This news is so refreshing. 🙂 I would like to encourage you today! If you feel like your past is haunting you, do not fret! Confess it to the Lord and He will forgive you. He will continually heal you. He has won the victory! IT IS FINISH! 🙂 I just pray that we continually live lives pleasing to Him. 🙂 Yes we will stumble, but we have the power to get rid of ourselves. 🙂 No longer do we live but Christ lives in us. 🙂

P.S. The Picture is not mine. Credits to Kat Uytiepo. 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

Her Death that taught me how to live.

              A year ago, my cousin breathed her last breath. She had a great big battle named, the big C. It was a struggle, but after that last breath, she was peaceful than ever. No more tears. No more pain. No more big C. A lot of people may think that she have lost the battle, for she was the one who gave up her last breath. I would like to believe that that is not the case. I would like to believe that my cousin, though now gone, has won the battle. It is written, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. This verse in Romans 8:37 gives me joy. I just know that because my cousin accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior, she is now with Him in heaven. I just know that nothing shall EVER separate us from the love of Christ and that reassures me that even if she is now gone, she is now happy with her creator. She is now happy because she has that amazing love that cannot be taken away from her. Given that it is her first death anniversary, I would like to honor her by sharing with you what she taught me over the years.

Ate Cel

She taught me how to love UNCONDITIONALLY

My cousin is not the perfect cousin. She made decisions that made me furious. Yes, that is one confession that I would like to make, but despite that, she taught me how to love someone unconditionally. Isn’t this the Christ-like love that we need to possess? She helped me to love like Him. She helped me to love, period. I did not love her because she was good to me. I did not love her because I’d get something in return. I did not love her because of anything else, but I just did, because I chose to. I chose to love her because while we were still sinners, Christ has loved us already. This makes it easy for me to extend His love towards others. This makes me, love her.

She taught me how to step out of my comfort zone to serve

When she told us that her doctors told her that she only has approximately six months to live, God gave me this burden to go to her and to serve her. I was hesitant at first, but after praying for her, I told my mom if I may go to her house to help her. During this time, Fridays are my only rest days, but I chose to step out of my comfort zone to come to her and to serve her, because she needed help. I wanted her to get to know who Christ is and wanted her to have a relationship with Him, even on her last days. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She taught me how to extend God’s grace

Often times we forget how to extend God’s grace to others. We become too legalistic and too judgemental that we just can’t lend a helping hand. My cousin gave me the opportunity to extend God’s grace towards her. She reminded me that God has given me grace and this is the reason why I can extend it to others as well. She taught me how to extend grace. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She may have left us, but I know that I will keep all these lessons in my heart. All in all, I’ve learned to treasure others even if there are individual differences. I wouldn’t want to see them in their death bed before I change my mind. Even if my flesh dictates me to neglect all these lessons, I believe that I can apply all these lessons in my life, by God’s grace. I can’t do it on my own, but I can do it, in Christ Jesus who loves me.

Start now, while your loved ones are still alive. Don’t wait for them to die before you change your mind and fill your heart with regret. Start now. We can do it! 🙂

Are you willing to apply all these in your life too?

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Life Lessons, Personal

The Father to the Fatherless.

Happy Father’s day! I don’t know about you, but I thank God for my dad. I am so blessed to have him in my life and I am grateful because He is still here with us. You may be reading this and you may feel like this is the worst day of your life. You see children happily skipping around the park, holding firmly to their father’s hand, while here you are, wishing that he could still be here for you. If you are this person, I would like to encourage you.

daddeh

It’s such an encouraging thing to know that even if your earthly father is not bodily present, you have a heavenly father who is with you wherever you may be. Can you imagine the King of Kings and The Lord of Lords to be YOUR father? I mean, imagine with me. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords wants to have a relationship with you! Yes, you. It’s just amazing to think that God, who is so mighty and so holy, has this desire to be your heavenly father. How can He be our heavenly father? He can be our heavenly father if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. If we do that, we can now be called His sons and daughters.

I don’t know what your situation is today and I don’t know if you already have a relationship with God, but one thing is for sure. There is one thing that I know. I know, that even if you are fatherless, the God who made this earth is calling you by name and is telling you that He loves you! HE LOVES YOU! He loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Such amazing love! If you here are sad and lonely this father’s day, I want you to know that you are loved! You can celebrate and the only reason why you can is because you have a Heavenly father. Allow me to celebrate with you! Happy Father’s day to your dad! May You enjoy His presence today.

If you want to have a relationship with Jesus by accepting Him as Lord and Savior, send me an e-mail at shekinahbongco@gmail.com I’d love to lead you to a prayer that will make you do just that. God bless you! YOU are loved! 🙂

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Personal, Testimony

Confessions of a teenage godmother

A year ago, my cousin felt extreme pain on her right arm due to The Big C. Yep. Cancer. I don’t want to give out details because I can still vividly recall everything, and it hurts me.  Anyway, a year ago, when she told us that her doctors told her that she only had 6 months to live, I felt this burden in my heart to go to her the next day. She texted us on a Thursday and I do not have classes on Fridays, so right after praying for her, I asked my mom if I may go to her place in order for me to take care of her. Mom was gracious enough to say yes, and from then on, my Friday mission to help her started. There’s this certain joy that serving her gave me. As much as I would like to recall those wonderful days, I’d want to focus on a new season that God has given me. I call this new season, “On Fridays We Wear Lavender: EXTENDED EDITION!

Confessions of a teenage godmother

There is a story behind the name of this new season. You see, when I was still doing my mission work, my cousin would always tell me to instruct everyone to decorate her wake with lavender and fuchsia pink because both of those are her favourite colors. When she went to heaven, true enough, our family decorated her wake with those colors. And I told myself that my Fridays will ALWAYS be reserved for service. That is, service for people who need help. True enough, God gave me a great opportunity to finally make this happen. God opened doors for me to take care of my little nephew and godson, my cousin’s youngest, Raizen. I thank God for giving me such a great opportunity. He will be with us for him to continue studying as a Kinder 2 student. I know it will be a handful, but if this is what needs to be done in order for change to happen inside of him, then I’d be glad to be a part of that transformation.

It is currently his third day in our lovely home and it is also his second day in school. I am responsible for feeding, clothing, and teaching him. In other words, I am in charge of his well-being. So far, there have been radical changes inside of him. He has been telling me that he feels loved and accepted. He also repeatedly say thank you to our family for accepting him in our home. It is great that he has changed a lot since we got him. He became more obedient, more respectful and more responsible than ever. I praise God for allowing our family to be used by Him. Also, I am seeing certain changes inside of me. I suddenly became this responsible and caring person that makes sacrifices for his wellbeing [I must say, I did not know that I had this side. EVER]. Instead of making plans for myself, I now plan to make my schedule work for the both of us. Furthermore, instead of thinking of myself, I am now thinking of him and I am now thinking of ways for him to feel that he is loved and accepted.

I would also like to thank God for allowing me to study Psychology. It helped our family a lot, especially in helping him in his healing process. I cannot disclose information here, but there are certain areas that needed the field of Psychology and I thank God for using me to understand certain things that only psychologists can.

I’d like to end this by stating that yes, I may be a teen and yes, I may be young, but I will never let that hinder me from allowing God to use me mightily for His glory. One day, I know that all this hard work will pay off. I know that our God is the God who restores, heals and transforms. Allow Him to use you today! Be available and be ready to step out of your comfort zone! God will use you mightily today! Good day and may God bless you! 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

To Those Who Can’t Wait

I wanna be a tween said the kid,

I wanna be a teen said the tween,

I wanna go to grade school said the pre-schooler,

I wanna go to high school said the grade schooler,

I wanna go to college said the high schooler,

I wanna work and earn said the college student,

I wanna have a boyfriend said the single lady,

I wanna have kids said the newly engaged wife,

I wanna be old and enjoy my retirement money said the long time employee,

I wanna be in college again said the long time employee,

I wanna be in high school again said the college student,

I wanna be in grade school again, said the high school student,

I wanna be in pre-school again said the grade school student.

I wanna be a tween again said the teen,

I wanna be a kid again, said the tween.

It’s funny how we wish to be in a particular season of life and how we don’t appreciate the beauty of the present. The beauty of your current season. Today. Now.

I used to say those “I wanna be”, but it is only now when I realize that I haven’t lived my life fully because of my desire to be someone else and somewhere else. I am currently a college student and I’ve been having these bugging thoughts on my mind. Some of them are hilarious such as “I want to be in a relationship… NOW!!!”. Another would be my desire of earning money due to the fact that I turned eighteen meaning I can already (well, legally) earn. I don’t want to be a freeloader in the family. But as I reflect and ponder on my season as a college student, there has been this realization that I must enjoy this season because I will only be in this season once and when my time’s up in this season, there’s no turning back.

This reminded me of several verses in the Bible which are Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. This says that, and I quote from the King James Version,

“To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.”

This is a great reminder for people like me, who can’t wait. People who can’t wait to be promoted, people who can’t wait to have a boyfriend, people who can’t wait to graduate and make a living, and people who can’t wait upon the Lord. It says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, that “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”.

If you are a person who just can’t wait and is in a season of waiting just like me, enjoy every moment you have in your current season today. May we learn to put our trust in the Lord so that we will have peace and joy in our current season today.

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