Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!

Pride

Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.

Selfishness

It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!

Self-righteousness

Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂

Challenge:

Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Follow me on Pinterest: My account name is Shekinah Bongco

Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

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Blog Series, Life Lessons

The Suicide Series [The Victim Mentality]

Hey ya’ll I’m back! I’m so excited to share with you the first installment of this blog series. If you haven’t read the introduction for this series, you may read it here. Now that you have an idea on what this series will be about, let’s just, hop right into it.
Our Current Mindset
Have you ever felt insecure? Ya know, that feeling when you flip through magazines and see pictures of models who have perfect bods. On the other hand, you check yourself in front  of the mirror and see… well, the girl with Tina the talking tummy. Oh well, so much for my white chicks reference.
If you haven’t felt insecure [which I highly doubt], great. I’m so happy for you, but have you ever felt so dirty? You look at your past and you see dirty old you doing things that you now regret and you just feel so… worthless. Shame just fills you up and it’s as if there’s no hope. It’s as if you can’t change. It’s as if you’re stuck in a black hole and nobody can ever take you out.
Or maybe you’ve been bullied. Maybe life’s been hard for you. They’d laugh at you. Throw inside jokes about you, or even leave you all alone at lunch. Trust me, Katie, from the Mean Girls, is not the only one who has experienced that. I did. Maybe you did, too. Did this experience bring a traumatic effect in your life that you, all of a sudden, fear rejection? And because of this fear you see yourself pushing people away [even people you love] in order to avoid social interaction and well, eventually avoid pain.
These experiences show a pattern and if we can identify it, we can see that it’s all about some negative thoughts that may be resting in our brains. We must know that these are lies. These are ALL LIES. We must remember that the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but Christ has come to give us life and life to the full!
God’s Intervention
While I was battling with these thoughts, insecurities, feelings and fears, God revealed some things that changed my perspective. Here are some of what He revealed to me:
Insecurity
He revealed that the reason why we are insecure is because we do not delight in the way He created us. We compare ourselves with others and it just makes us miserable. If we can just shift our focus on him and see His amazing design then we might just praise Him cause we are created after His own image. We should not settle for the world’s standard. We are His masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fear of Rejection
He told me that the reason why we fear rejection is because we are too afraid to get hurt by other people. The result of this is pushing people away so that we won’t get hurt anymore. This is the reason why sometimes, we just act like losers who claim to be worthless. NO! It shouldn’t be that way. It says in John 1:12, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”. That’s awesome news! We are God’s children! [That is, if we’ve accepted Him as Lord and saviour already]. If we are children of The King, scratch that, THE KING OF KINGS, then what does that mean? That means that we are princesses and princes! If we just focus on Him and not on ourselves and our surroundings, then we would find out that we have been ACCEPTED already! Not by any insignificant person, but by the KING of KINGS! WOW!
Worthlessness and Hopelessness
It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. For those of us who feel like there’s no hope, there’s good news. If we have accepted Christ, it is said in His word that if we are in Christ, then we are his new creation. Let’s not be stuck in the past. God is allowing us to move on! We must remember that He has already made us new. Our worth should be based on the finished work of Jesus Christ and not on ANYTHING ELSE. We should put our hope in Him. He makes ALL things new and that includes, you.
You may be reading this thinking, “Shekinah, you just don’t know my situation!! You don’t know how broken I am!!!”. Well, I’ve said that in the past [depression stage] and I’ve just realized that my focus wasn’t on Him. Maybe, just maybe, the reason why He allowed these thoughts to linger in our minds is for these thoughts to break us, so in our broken state, we may find ourselves whole in Him.
Let’s Crush it: The Victim Mentality
You are not a victim anymore! You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus! We are not slaves of sin, but we are slaves of righteousness! Enough is enough. We should not allow the enemy to put our focus on ourselves. We can live victorious lives! We must fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of our faith.
Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are loved. Know that you are accepted, not rejected. You are loved and you’re not hated. Have you surrendered your victim mentality to Christ yet?
Challenge:
Say a short prayer thanking God for creating you in His image and likeness. Thank Him for accepting you as His Child. Thank Him for freeing you from being a victim of your past, your fears and your feelings.
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Blog Series, Life Lessons

The Suicide Series [An Introduction]

Hey ya’ll. I’m back. I’ve experienced the ever dreadful writer’s block recently and IT. JUST. SUCKS. Anyway, I thank God cause I’m back on track! Today, I’ll be launching my blog series entitled, “The Suicide Series”!!! Some of you may now look at the title and say, “Is she promoting suicide?”. Just a little disclaimer here. Hehe. I am not promoting suicide. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past and that stage is not pretty. It’s dark, it’s ugly and it’s the worst stage that one can be in.  In this blog series, I won’t be talking about my suicidal thoughts, experience, and all that jazz. Instead, I will write about killing “some” things about ourselves.

If you still don’t get what I mean, let me cite the verse in the Bible that inspired me to write this blog series. It says in Romans 6:11, “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ Jesus”. Yep. That’s what I meant by “Suicide”. When we talk about suicide, we define it as a person killing himself. In this series, we will crush wrong mindsets. We will “kill” anything that has something to do with ourselves until there’s nothing left of us and ’til the only thing that’s left is God. The goal of this series is for us to realize that we should cling on to God alone for Him to give us the ability to be dead to our sin, and alive in Christ. This starts by having a realationship with Him. Yep, I wrote that right. Realationship. We need to have this REAL RELATIONSHIP with Christ and that starts when we accept Jesus Christ as our LORD and SAVIOR.

Accepting Jesus as LORD and SAVIOR

When we accept Jesus as Lord this means that we put Him over EVERY area of our lives. Remember, if He is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all. Lordship is important in this relationship with Him. Because Jesus is now our Lord, this means that we should turn back from whatever the Bible calls sin. This means that because of Jesus, this life that we live is a life of righteousness in Him and not a life that gratifies our flesh.

I’m so excited for this blog series because sometimes, when we study the Bible and discover some things that we need to let go of, we tell ourselves that it’s hard to change our ways, it’s hard to obey God and all that. The thing is, that’s true. It’s hard to change our ways and it’s hard to obey God if we still rely on ourselves. But, if we surrender and let God work in us, then we can do it! That is great news. We must remember that sin has NO POWER over us and that it is the Holy Spirit that will guide us and give us the ability to do the good works that He has prepared for us.

Now that I’ve made a brief introduction of my blog series, may you join me in unravelling some parts of ourselves that we need to get rid of?

Don’t forget to connect with me on my social media accounts for more updates!

IG: @shekinahbongco

Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Snapchat: shekinahbongco

Facebook: Shekinah Bongco

Oh, and don’t forget to use the official hashtag of this blog series #TheSuicideSeries! Thank you and God bless! 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Ghost of The Past Takes a Visit.

Hi everyone. I’m back. I will take the challenge of posting a blog post a day (as if I can do that). Anyway, today I’ll be talking about a very VERY personal topic which is my past. 🙂 I’ve joined our Church’s mid-year prayer and fasting and I was asking God to change my heart. Apparently, I’ve been reminded of my past and IT. DID. NOT. FEEL. GOOD. Do you know the feeling of opening a wound and putting some salt in it, nope RUBBING some salt in it? Yep, that’s what I felt. Well, not literally though. I got reminded of my past and it just haunted my mind. I’ve been staring at walls and I kinda ate tons of food. And when I say TON… I mean A LOT. (You’d even wonder if there’s more space in my big ol’ tummy). I’ve been asking God if it is possible for me to change. I mean, I’ve been struggle with my attitude and I’ve been TRYING SO HARD to be “good”. You see, I just gave up yesterday. I felt like I just CANNOT do it anymore. I give up. I just can’t change for the better, but God is so great. He reminded me that truly, I CANNOT do it on my own. I cannot change myself. Only His spirit can! He reminded me of things that I needed to remember during this pruning season and here’s a list of my struggles and what He told me about these.

     I am such an envious and jealous person.

                     This is an awful struggle that I have had since I was young. I’ve always wanted to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, so whenever someone better comes along the envious and jealous side of me, NATURALLY comes out. I just can’t control it. I would feel so bad cause someone is better than me. God is just good for reminding me that I should not be a jealous person, He created me fearfully and wonderfully that is why I need to focus on pleasing only ONE audience, and that is Him.

     I am such an insecure human being.

It’s pretty obvious that when a person becomes jealous he or she has some insecurity issues. I’ve had insecurity issues ever since and I’ve been struggling a lot with this. The Lord is good for reminding me to put on my helmet of salvation which assures me of my security in Him. I am His princess and I am His masterpiece. Other people may be prettier than me, but I must remember that my security should not depend on that, on my grades (YES, I am SUCH a grade conscious kiddo, ever since nursery. HAHAHA. More on that later), and on anyone else, but Him. 🙂

      I am such a grade conscious person.

Some people don’t care about grade conscious people, but some people just find us pretty annoying. We worry about the slightest things in school and we get sad if we don’t get our goal in school. I’ve always been a grade conscious person. It strengthened now that I’m in college because I currently have a scholarship grant so I just felt that I needed to exert extreme effort in getting my grades up in the air (what even am I saying? I lack sleep. HAHAHA). God reminded me that my performance in school should never define who I am. He also reminded me that He loves me NO MATTER WHAT. He also told me that I should be more concerned with how I treat people in school more than my grades, because He is a relational God and He doesn’t want me to have broken relationships just because of my grades.

I am TOO proud.

Oh yes, I’ve been extremely boastful about who I am and what I can do that I sometimes forget to give God the glory. Also, I tend to forget to humble myself before Him and THAT AIN’T GOOD. He reminded me that I should not think highly of myself and instead consider others better than me. 🙂

ETC.

There are several other things that I have battled with (and I’m still battling with) and I couldn’t name these all in my blog post (trust me, that would be a bore). The point is, God reminded me that if I remain in Him and humble myself before Him, He will renew me like never before. He also reminded me of 1 John 1:9 (ESV) “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”. I wrote about my past not to confess my sins to God publicly. I’ve already done this and I wrote this to write about what I’ve been learning in this journey with The Lord. If you are reading this and if I have done something wrong to you, I ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that I am weak and imperfect. I hope that you may forgive me for whatever it is that I have done to you. Be it backstabbing, gossiping, you name it! I hope that you confront me and I hope that we can talk about it, for us to fix our relationship. I am willing to receive feedback and I am willing to learn how to improve with my behaviour. 🙂

To end this blog post, I would like to say that I feel blessed because God has reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which states “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. This is such an encouraging verse because even if I am imperfect, God’s perfect love washes over my sin and continually makes me new. This news is so refreshing. 🙂 I would like to encourage you today! If you feel like your past is haunting you, do not fret! Confess it to the Lord and He will forgive you. He will continually heal you. He has won the victory! IT IS FINISH! 🙂 I just pray that we continually live lives pleasing to Him. 🙂 Yes we will stumble, but we have the power to get rid of ourselves. 🙂 No longer do we live but Christ lives in us. 🙂

P.S. The Picture is not mine. Credits to Kat Uytiepo. 🙂

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Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

To Those Who Can’t Wait

I wanna be a tween said the kid,

I wanna be a teen said the tween,

I wanna go to grade school said the pre-schooler,

I wanna go to high school said the grade schooler,

I wanna go to college said the high schooler,

I wanna work and earn said the college student,

I wanna have a boyfriend said the single lady,

I wanna have kids said the newly engaged wife,

I wanna be old and enjoy my retirement money said the long time employee,

I wanna be in college again said the long time employee,

I wanna be in high school again said the college student,

I wanna be in grade school again, said the high school student,

I wanna be in pre-school again said the grade school student.

I wanna be a tween again said the teen,

I wanna be a kid again, said the tween.

It’s funny how we wish to be in a particular season of life and how we don’t appreciate the beauty of the present. The beauty of your current season. Today. Now.

I used to say those “I wanna be”, but it is only now when I realize that I haven’t lived my life fully because of my desire to be someone else and somewhere else. I am currently a college student and I’ve been having these bugging thoughts on my mind. Some of them are hilarious such as “I want to be in a relationship… NOW!!!”. Another would be my desire of earning money due to the fact that I turned eighteen meaning I can already (well, legally) earn. I don’t want to be a freeloader in the family. But as I reflect and ponder on my season as a college student, there has been this realization that I must enjoy this season because I will only be in this season once and when my time’s up in this season, there’s no turning back.

This reminded me of several verses in the Bible which are Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. This says that, and I quote from the King James Version,

“To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.”

This is a great reminder for people like me, who can’t wait. People who can’t wait to be promoted, people who can’t wait to have a boyfriend, people who can’t wait to graduate and make a living, and people who can’t wait upon the Lord. It says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, that “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”.

If you are a person who just can’t wait and is in a season of waiting just like me, enjoy every moment you have in your current season today. May we learn to put our trust in the Lord so that we will have peace and joy in our current season today.

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Prose

Decrescendo

Decrescendo (n). A gradual reduction in force or sound. That is what the dictionary says. That is exactly what my music teacher taught me. A gradual decrease of volume. From loud to soft. It has never been the other way around.

The thing is, you are my decrescendo. You came into my life so alive, so energetic. You are like a little ball of sunshine that I cannot contain. You light up my darkest night. You came to me so loud that I can’t even hear my cries of pain when depression hits me at night. You are my joy. You are such a great force that you make my frown upside down. That is a big thing, you know. You are a big thing. You are my big thing. I find myself craving for you. Your energy, your force, your delightful sound. Every time I hear your voice, it is as if I am this mighty warrior that can slay my biggest dragon. You changed the way I view myself. When you entered my life, I knew, that you’re someone special.

But… What happened to you. Did I suck all your energy, that caused you to decrease your force? Is it true that I am this emotional vampire that just sucks the life out of you? Why did you let the black hole suck the joy that you can give me. Ohh.. This is not a good thing. I can start hearing my cries of pain once again… I can start feeling my smile slowly giving up to the call of gravity. What is happening, I ask myself. Oh, you have no idea how you’ve made an impact in my life by the way, so I cannot just ask you what happened. But I guess now I know it’s clear to me. Now I know what you are to me. You gave life to one of my most neglected musical symbols. Oh great. A vivid recollection passed by my memory lane. All the songs that you’ve sung to me seem to decrease in its volume. I am sure that I didn’t press the mute button. But it’s alright. I’ve accepted it already. This is how you’re designed. You’re designed to make a strong impact in my musical piece, but you’re also designed to leave soon. I did not choose this but this is how it’s supposed to be. Besides, you’re a decrescendo. You are MY decrescendo.

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Prose

This is What Love Really is.

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Do you know what love can do? If you don’t, then I’ll tell you.

Love can make a girl go crazy for that boy who’s just too cool to study. Even if he keeps his cool, this guy can still make this girl drool. Lol. See, love can make you rhyme, even if you don’t intend to. Love can make you write, such lovely lovely poetry straight from the vessels of your heart. Actually from your brain, but you just know it’s from your “heart”. Love can make you scream on the inside just cause she said hi to you. Love can make you feel those uninvited butterflies inside of your stomach. Love can make you dream of how sweet tomorrow can bring for the both of you.

Love can make a boy sing songs to a girl he’s really into [even if he doesn’t really sing well and is absolutely shy]. Love can make a guy ready to face rejection, just so he can take a chance of taking this lovely lady out for dinner. Love can make you send messages that you can’t say in front of this person, but just do it anyway because it’s worth the risk. Love can make you sing such lovely melodies, cause you just know you found your harmony.

Love can make some people save their money just to buy someone expensive things. Love can keep you sane and alive ’til those ungodly hours of the day, just to talk to this other person who, at the end of the line speaks of sweet and endearing words. Love can make you do things you never thought you’d ever do. Because love, it maybe a risk, but it’s worth the take. Or is it?

After all those have been said and done, love takes a sudden drift. A swift turn to your left and some sharp turns to your right. Will you be able to keep your sanity if after all of those days, months and years have finally come to and end? All those invested time left for… nothing? Is love still beautiful when all those songs you’ve sung just remind you of the love that’s not alive tonight? Is love still delightful after all those petty things? Things, that made you feel that there are butterflies in your stomach, but suddenly changed into a kick in the gut. And then you just stop to contemplate if love’s worth it all. If love’s worth the pain. Oh I’ll tell you. It is.

If I ask all these to someone I know, you know,  if love is worth the pain, I know he’d say it is, with no hesitation seen in his face.  This someone that I know did not sing goofy songs to win our hearts. This someone I know did not write cheesy poetry out of the love that he felt from the bottom of his heart. This someone I know did not flash his killer smile to get our attention. But I assure you that he took the risk of being in pain. He took the risk of facing rejection. He took the risk of facing death. That’s because to Him, it’s worth it. At the end of the day He said that “it is finished”. You see, to Him, love is worth the sacrifice. If it would mean that you can be with Him forever then He’s willing to take the risk. He was willing to take the risk. He willingly took the risk. And after the third day, He rose again telling you, “Hey. I love you. And you may reject me, but I still love you. You may hurt me, but it is worth it. The pain that I endured is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth it because I LOVE YOU.”

And that is what love is. Not your cheesy tumblr kind of love. God is love. Oh yes, you saw that right, I was talking about Jesus! JESUS LOVES YOU. He willingly endured the cross that was supposed to be for us. He took that and took all our sins just for us to be saved. He left His comfort just for us to be in comfort. Imagine how great is his love for you! Imagine what this love is! Imagine what His will is for your life! His good pleasing and perfect will. At the end of the day, it is finished.

YOU can accept this perfect love. YOU can avail of this promised “eternal life” with Him. YOU can be His. Wanna know how? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You are blessed. YOU, You are worth it, says The Lord.

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