Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!

Pride

Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.

Selfishness

It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!

Self-righteousness

Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂

Challenge:

Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Follow me on Pinterest: My account name is Shekinah Bongco

Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

Advertisements
Standard
Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

Her Death that taught me how to live.

              A year ago, my cousin breathed her last breath. She had a great big battle named, the big C. It was a struggle, but after that last breath, she was peaceful than ever. No more tears. No more pain. No more big C. A lot of people may think that she have lost the battle, for she was the one who gave up her last breath. I would like to believe that that is not the case. I would like to believe that my cousin, though now gone, has won the battle. It is written, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. This verse in Romans 8:37 gives me joy. I just know that because my cousin accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior, she is now with Him in heaven. I just know that nothing shall EVER separate us from the love of Christ and that reassures me that even if she is now gone, she is now happy with her creator. She is now happy because she has that amazing love that cannot be taken away from her. Given that it is her first death anniversary, I would like to honor her by sharing with you what she taught me over the years.

Ate Cel

She taught me how to love UNCONDITIONALLY

My cousin is not the perfect cousin. She made decisions that made me furious. Yes, that is one confession that I would like to make, but despite that, she taught me how to love someone unconditionally. Isn’t this the Christ-like love that we need to possess? She helped me to love like Him. She helped me to love, period. I did not love her because she was good to me. I did not love her because I’d get something in return. I did not love her because of anything else, but I just did, because I chose to. I chose to love her because while we were still sinners, Christ has loved us already. This makes it easy for me to extend His love towards others. This makes me, love her.

She taught me how to step out of my comfort zone to serve

When she told us that her doctors told her that she only has approximately six months to live, God gave me this burden to go to her and to serve her. I was hesitant at first, but after praying for her, I told my mom if I may go to her house to help her. During this time, Fridays are my only rest days, but I chose to step out of my comfort zone to come to her and to serve her, because she needed help. I wanted her to get to know who Christ is and wanted her to have a relationship with Him, even on her last days. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She taught me how to extend God’s grace

Often times we forget how to extend God’s grace to others. We become too legalistic and too judgemental that we just can’t lend a helping hand. My cousin gave me the opportunity to extend God’s grace towards her. She reminded me that God has given me grace and this is the reason why I can extend it to others as well. She taught me how to extend grace. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She may have left us, but I know that I will keep all these lessons in my heart. All in all, I’ve learned to treasure others even if there are individual differences. I wouldn’t want to see them in their death bed before I change my mind. Even if my flesh dictates me to neglect all these lessons, I believe that I can apply all these lessons in my life, by God’s grace. I can’t do it on my own, but I can do it, in Christ Jesus who loves me.

Start now, while your loved ones are still alive. Don’t wait for them to die before you change your mind and fill your heart with regret. Start now. We can do it! 🙂

Are you willing to apply all these in your life too?

Standard
Prose

Bisikleta.

Sabi nila, masarap sumakay sa bisikleta. Dadalhin ka nito sa mga lugar na hindi mo inaasahang mararating mo. Di ako marunong sumakay ng bisikleta kasi takot akong mahulog. Sabi nila masakit daw kasi sumemplang. Nung nakilala kita, parang kinain ko lahat ng sinabi ko. Nung nakilala kita, para akong engot na nagtapang tapangan kasi alam ko na kahit may posibilidad na mahulog ako sayo at tapos ay masaktan, alam ko na magiging masaya parin ako. Sa unang padyak ng ating pagkakaibigan, parang di natin alam ang patutunguhan natin. Pakapa kapa pa tayo sa kung ano ang ugali ng isa’t isa. Sinusubukan kung may patutunguhan nga ba ang ating pagkakaibigan. Nang malaman na natin na kahit papano ay kaya naman pala, sinundan ito ng pangalawa, pangatlo at pangapat na padyak. Onti-unti na tayong nagkakaron ng direction sa ating relasyon. Onti onti  nang nawawala ang takot ko na mahulog. Na sumemplang. Pagkatapos ng ilang padyak sigurado na ako na gusto ko ito. Na gusto ko sayo. Hindi ko na nais pang isipin pa kung mahuhulog ba ako o masasaktan din ba. Ang alam ko lang… Masaya ako. Gusto ko to. Gusto kita. Kailangan ko ngayon malaman kung pano magbalanse. Pano ko ngayon pagbabalansehin ang aking oras sa iyo, sa pamilya ko at sa trabaho ko. Kahit na mahirap, alam ko matututunan ko rin ito. Pag natuto kasi ako magbalanse, alam ko na mas malayo ang mararating ko. Ang mararating natin. Nang unti onti akong natututong magbalanse, nararamdaman ko na ang galak na sinasabi ng mga marunong magbisekleta. Oo nga no. Totoo pala yun. Masarap pala sa pakiramdam ang sumakay ng bisikleta. Masarap pala kasi kasama kita. Ang dami nating narating. Andiyan ka kapag nasa oras ako ng tag-lamig, tag-ulan o tag-araw. Alam mo lahat ng mga paborito kong lugar na puntahan at mga lugar na kainan. Ang masarap pa dito, sa bawat pag padyak ko. Sa bawat pag padyak natin ay bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Ikaw lang ang nakapagpabilis sa tibok ng puso ko ng ganto. Dahil dito, ayoko ng bumaba pa sa biyaheng ito. Ayoko nang tumigil sa pagpadyak at pagbalanse. Alam ko na mahihirapan ako pero kung ikaw ang kasama ko, alam ko na lahat ng pagod ko ay mapapawi.

Gusto kong magpasalamat sayo kasi tinuruan mo kong pumadyak. Gusto kong magpasalamat sayo kasi tinuruan mo kong magbalanse. Gusto kong magpasalamat sayo kasi tinuruan mo kong magbisikleta. Pero… Kagaya ng kinatatakotan ko, ako, ay nahulog. Ito na nga ba ang kinakatakutan ko eh. Sabi nila delikado daw. Dapat nakinig nalang ako sa kanila. Sabi nila masakit daw eh. Pero di ako nakinig kasi nagmatigas ako. Hindi ako nakinig kasi alam ko bawat pagpadyak ko ay sulit basta ikaw ang kasama ko sa biyaheng ito. Bakit? Bakit mo ako hinayaang mahulog? Bakit hindi mo ko tinulungan sa pagpadyak? Bakit hinayaan mo na mawalan ako ng balanse at sumemplang nalang basta basta? Bakit mo ako iniwan sa ere? Bakit mo ako iniwan? Bakit mo hinayaang masugatan ako kahit alam mong ito ang pinakakinakatakotan ko? Bakit mo hinayaan mangyari to? Bakit mo ko pinabayaan? Bakit?

Hindi ko man malaman ang mga sagot sa mga tanong na ‘yan, isa lang ang alam ko. Kahit masakit ang pagsemplang ko, kahit masakit ang pag-iwan mo, nag-iwan ka naman ng mga ala-alang hinding hindi ko makakalimutan. Dahil sayo nawala ang takot ko. Dahil sayo nakarating ako sa mga lugar na hindi ko lubos aakalain at dahil sayo…. Dahil sayo.. Natuto akong magmahal. Kaya kahit masakit, alam ko na bawat pagpadyak ay sulit na sulit, basta ba para sayo.

Standard
Life Lessons, Personal

The Father to the Fatherless.

Happy Father’s day! I don’t know about you, but I thank God for my dad. I am so blessed to have him in my life and I am grateful because He is still here with us. You may be reading this and you may feel like this is the worst day of your life. You see children happily skipping around the park, holding firmly to their father’s hand, while here you are, wishing that he could still be here for you. If you are this person, I would like to encourage you.

daddeh

It’s such an encouraging thing to know that even if your earthly father is not bodily present, you have a heavenly father who is with you wherever you may be. Can you imagine the King of Kings and The Lord of Lords to be YOUR father? I mean, imagine with me. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords wants to have a relationship with you! Yes, you. It’s just amazing to think that God, who is so mighty and so holy, has this desire to be your heavenly father. How can He be our heavenly father? He can be our heavenly father if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. If we do that, we can now be called His sons and daughters.

I don’t know what your situation is today and I don’t know if you already have a relationship with God, but one thing is for sure. There is one thing that I know. I know, that even if you are fatherless, the God who made this earth is calling you by name and is telling you that He loves you! HE LOVES YOU! He loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Such amazing love! If you here are sad and lonely this father’s day, I want you to know that you are loved! You can celebrate and the only reason why you can is because you have a Heavenly father. Allow me to celebrate with you! Happy Father’s day to your dad! May You enjoy His presence today.

If you want to have a relationship with Jesus by accepting Him as Lord and Savior, send me an e-mail at shekinahbongco@gmail.com I’d love to lead you to a prayer that will make you do just that. God bless you! YOU are loved! 🙂

Standard
Personal, Testimony

Confessions of a teenage godmother

A year ago, my cousin felt extreme pain on her right arm due to The Big C. Yep. Cancer. I don’t want to give out details because I can still vividly recall everything, and it hurts me.  Anyway, a year ago, when she told us that her doctors told her that she only had 6 months to live, I felt this burden in my heart to go to her the next day. She texted us on a Thursday and I do not have classes on Fridays, so right after praying for her, I asked my mom if I may go to her place in order for me to take care of her. Mom was gracious enough to say yes, and from then on, my Friday mission to help her started. There’s this certain joy that serving her gave me. As much as I would like to recall those wonderful days, I’d want to focus on a new season that God has given me. I call this new season, “On Fridays We Wear Lavender: EXTENDED EDITION!

Confessions of a teenage godmother

There is a story behind the name of this new season. You see, when I was still doing my mission work, my cousin would always tell me to instruct everyone to decorate her wake with lavender and fuchsia pink because both of those are her favourite colors. When she went to heaven, true enough, our family decorated her wake with those colors. And I told myself that my Fridays will ALWAYS be reserved for service. That is, service for people who need help. True enough, God gave me a great opportunity to finally make this happen. God opened doors for me to take care of my little nephew and godson, my cousin’s youngest, Raizen. I thank God for giving me such a great opportunity. He will be with us for him to continue studying as a Kinder 2 student. I know it will be a handful, but if this is what needs to be done in order for change to happen inside of him, then I’d be glad to be a part of that transformation.

It is currently his third day in our lovely home and it is also his second day in school. I am responsible for feeding, clothing, and teaching him. In other words, I am in charge of his well-being. So far, there have been radical changes inside of him. He has been telling me that he feels loved and accepted. He also repeatedly say thank you to our family for accepting him in our home. It is great that he has changed a lot since we got him. He became more obedient, more respectful and more responsible than ever. I praise God for allowing our family to be used by Him. Also, I am seeing certain changes inside of me. I suddenly became this responsible and caring person that makes sacrifices for his wellbeing [I must say, I did not know that I had this side. EVER]. Instead of making plans for myself, I now plan to make my schedule work for the both of us. Furthermore, instead of thinking of myself, I am now thinking of him and I am now thinking of ways for him to feel that he is loved and accepted.

I would also like to thank God for allowing me to study Psychology. It helped our family a lot, especially in helping him in his healing process. I cannot disclose information here, but there are certain areas that needed the field of Psychology and I thank God for using me to understand certain things that only psychologists can.

I’d like to end this by stating that yes, I may be a teen and yes, I may be young, but I will never let that hinder me from allowing God to use me mightily for His glory. One day, I know that all this hard work will pay off. I know that our God is the God who restores, heals and transforms. Allow Him to use you today! Be available and be ready to step out of your comfort zone! God will use you mightily today! Good day and may God bless you! 🙂

Standard
Prose

Decrescendo

Decrescendo (n). A gradual reduction in force or sound. That is what the dictionary says. That is exactly what my music teacher taught me. A gradual decrease of volume. From loud to soft. It has never been the other way around.

The thing is, you are my decrescendo. You came into my life so alive, so energetic. You are like a little ball of sunshine that I cannot contain. You light up my darkest night. You came to me so loud that I can’t even hear my cries of pain when depression hits me at night. You are my joy. You are such a great force that you make my frown upside down. That is a big thing, you know. You are a big thing. You are my big thing. I find myself craving for you. Your energy, your force, your delightful sound. Every time I hear your voice, it is as if I am this mighty warrior that can slay my biggest dragon. You changed the way I view myself. When you entered my life, I knew, that you’re someone special.

But… What happened to you. Did I suck all your energy, that caused you to decrease your force? Is it true that I am this emotional vampire that just sucks the life out of you? Why did you let the black hole suck the joy that you can give me. Ohh.. This is not a good thing. I can start hearing my cries of pain once again… I can start feeling my smile slowly giving up to the call of gravity. What is happening, I ask myself. Oh, you have no idea how you’ve made an impact in my life by the way, so I cannot just ask you what happened. But I guess now I know it’s clear to me. Now I know what you are to me. You gave life to one of my most neglected musical symbols. Oh great. A vivid recollection passed by my memory lane. All the songs that you’ve sung to me seem to decrease in its volume. I am sure that I didn’t press the mute button. But it’s alright. I’ve accepted it already. This is how you’re designed. You’re designed to make a strong impact in my musical piece, but you’re also designed to leave soon. I did not choose this but this is how it’s supposed to be. Besides, you’re a decrescendo. You are MY decrescendo.

Standard
Prose

This is What Love Really is.

10170714_10203256964678410_7868184621681547650_n

Do you know what love can do? If you don’t, then I’ll tell you.

Love can make a girl go crazy for that boy who’s just too cool to study. Even if he keeps his cool, this guy can still make this girl drool. Lol. See, love can make you rhyme, even if you don’t intend to. Love can make you write, such lovely lovely poetry straight from the vessels of your heart. Actually from your brain, but you just know it’s from your “heart”. Love can make you scream on the inside just cause she said hi to you. Love can make you feel those uninvited butterflies inside of your stomach. Love can make you dream of how sweet tomorrow can bring for the both of you.

Love can make a boy sing songs to a girl he’s really into [even if he doesn’t really sing well and is absolutely shy]. Love can make a guy ready to face rejection, just so he can take a chance of taking this lovely lady out for dinner. Love can make you send messages that you can’t say in front of this person, but just do it anyway because it’s worth the risk. Love can make you sing such lovely melodies, cause you just know you found your harmony.

Love can make some people save their money just to buy someone expensive things. Love can keep you sane and alive ’til those ungodly hours of the day, just to talk to this other person who, at the end of the line speaks of sweet and endearing words. Love can make you do things you never thought you’d ever do. Because love, it maybe a risk, but it’s worth the take. Or is it?

After all those have been said and done, love takes a sudden drift. A swift turn to your left and some sharp turns to your right. Will you be able to keep your sanity if after all of those days, months and years have finally come to and end? All those invested time left for… nothing? Is love still beautiful when all those songs you’ve sung just remind you of the love that’s not alive tonight? Is love still delightful after all those petty things? Things, that made you feel that there are butterflies in your stomach, but suddenly changed into a kick in the gut. And then you just stop to contemplate if love’s worth it all. If love’s worth the pain. Oh I’ll tell you. It is.

If I ask all these to someone I know, you know,  if love is worth the pain, I know he’d say it is, with no hesitation seen in his face.  This someone that I know did not sing goofy songs to win our hearts. This someone I know did not write cheesy poetry out of the love that he felt from the bottom of his heart. This someone I know did not flash his killer smile to get our attention. But I assure you that he took the risk of being in pain. He took the risk of facing rejection. He took the risk of facing death. That’s because to Him, it’s worth it. At the end of the day He said that “it is finished”. You see, to Him, love is worth the sacrifice. If it would mean that you can be with Him forever then He’s willing to take the risk. He was willing to take the risk. He willingly took the risk. And after the third day, He rose again telling you, “Hey. I love you. And you may reject me, but I still love you. You may hurt me, but it is worth it. The pain that I endured is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth it because I LOVE YOU.”

And that is what love is. Not your cheesy tumblr kind of love. God is love. Oh yes, you saw that right, I was talking about Jesus! JESUS LOVES YOU. He willingly endured the cross that was supposed to be for us. He took that and took all our sins just for us to be saved. He left His comfort just for us to be in comfort. Imagine how great is his love for you! Imagine what this love is! Imagine what His will is for your life! His good pleasing and perfect will. At the end of the day, it is finished.

YOU can accept this perfect love. YOU can avail of this promised “eternal life” with Him. YOU can be His. Wanna know how? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You are blessed. YOU, You are worth it, says The Lord.

Standard