Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [People Pleasing Mentality]

I would like to apologize for the delay. I praise the Lord for giving me strength to write this. May He speak life to all of us. Read the first two installments here and here. You may check the introduction here. Let’s start!

Our Current Mindset

Look at yourself in front of mirror. See a beautiful person? Probably not. There’s always someone better. There’s always someone… bitter.

You see that girl with the perfect nose and the perfect brows? You’re not like her. You see those bullies who threw not-so-child-friendly-words at you? They will always be happy, and you? Yes you, well you’ll always be miserable. You will never be one of them. You will always be plain old you. You are meant to stay that way. Poor you.

You go to the department store and see what these people like. “Do I really need this?”, you ask yourself. You give a sigh and throw this thing in your shopping cart. All for them to accept you. All for these people to love you.

Did it work? Did they instantly love you just the way you are? Probably. Or not.

God’s Intervention

Anger and unforgiveness.

You see your bullies and what do you feel? Anger. You see those who have wronged you and see that they’re happy as can be. Will you forgive them? Not in their wildest dreams. Anger. Unforgiveness.

Imagine if God did not send His only son for the forgiveness of man. What will happen to us? Remember, we’ve mocked Him. You may say, “Hey, I never mocked God. I love Him so much!!”. Well, we’re all sinners, so in one point or another, we’ve been part of those who mocked Him. Imagine His anger poured out on us. Well, that’s a little creepy. It’s amazing to think that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us from ALL of our unrighteousness. He makes us clean. Why then, can’t we forgive those who have hurt us?

Jealousy and Envy

See those girls who seem to be living the “perfect life”? You greet them and admire them, but deep inside your rotten heart, jealousy and envy overflows. You’d try to be like them so that other people will like you as well. God has promised us a new heart. God has promised us a brand new start. God made you fearfully and wonderfully! Some people may not appreciate who you are, but He wants you to know that He loves you! He is pleased with you!

Let’s Crush it: The People Pleasing Mentality

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. It’s time to stop impressing other people. It’s time to please the only one who can make you whole. People will always have their opinion of you. Some will like you, some won’t. It’s a fact of life. Another fact that we should focus on is that we have an audience of ONE! If we continually please other people, then we will be tired, because different people want you to change, one way or another. But God, He looks at you with love. We have the guide to please Him and that is the Bible. Read it, meditate on it and live it. The Lord is pleased with you! Die to yourself. Die to your craving of people’s attention. Be alive in Christ, and in Christ alone.

Challenge: Say a short prayer thanking God for loving us and for forgiving us from all of our sins if we ask Him to. Ask Him for forgiveness if you’ve buried jealousy, envy, anger and unforgiveness in your hearts. Apologize also for your people pleasing mentality and ask Him to renew your mind about this. Ask Him for strength in order for you to fix your eyes on Him alone.

Ask people for forgiveness if you’ve been angry, unforgiving, jealous or envious of them. Ask God to heal your relationship.

Fix your eyes on Jesus! God bless us all. 🙂

Blog Series, Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Suicide Series [The ME Mentality]

Hey everyone. Last Wednesday we’ve discovered and crushed the Victim Mentality. If you haven’t read it yet, you may read it here. If you still don’t know what this series is all about check out its introduction here. After that, let’s begin!

Our Current Mindset

Do you remember this thing when we were kids when we’d always say, “ME FIRST. ME FIRST”? Since childhood, it’s been our nature to put ourselves first before others. In Developmental Psychology, specifically in Piaget’s study, we may see that children in the Preoperational stage tend to have ego-centrism, which means that they focus on themselves. It is said that in this stage, children can focus on only one aspect of a situation at a time. According to this theory, children, most of the time, think about themselves and not about the people around them.

It is said in his study that as humans grow older, they advance into different stages that make them more aware of other people and how they feel. Sometimes, even if we’re aware of the people around us, we still  have this tendency to be self-centered. When was the last time that you’ve spent your dollar for a stranger or a friend in need? When was the last time that you’ve opened up your heart to someone who’s having a hard time battling with something? When was the last time that you’ve thought about other people instead of yourself? Trust me, it’s a struggle.

God’s Intervention

God is just amazing because I have been guilty of being self-centered. I was proud, I was a total KNOW IT ALL [really, it sucks]. I was a selfish young girl who only thinks of herself. Who only thinks that she is the ONLY person who knows what’s right. Yikes!


Remember the story of lucifer, being this beautiful angel, who suddenly thought of himself as someone who can be better than God? Maybe you’re here and you’ve been thinking that you’re the best person in your field, and when this better person comes along, you’d try to be better than him just to prove a point. Hmm. Do you also remember the creation story? That is when God made us in His image and likeness. This means that God created us Holy and pleasing to His sight.  Since we are created after God’s own image and we reflect His glory, Lucifer wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He’d want us to be deceived in thinking that we must focus on ourselves. That’s just what he did! He deceived the first man and woman and when they fell into his trap, sin entered our lives. Because of this, we now have sin and this sin allows us to have distorted views of ourselves. This sin allows us to look for the spotlight and OWN IT. This is not what we’re naturally designed for. We’re naturally designed to glorify God! We’re naturally designed NOT to compete with the people around us but to glorify the only One who deserves it. It’s just sad because we live in a world that is full of sin that we have this tendency to do things for our own convenience. Which brings me to my next point.


It’s all about us. Why will we give someone forgiveness, love and grace??? She doesn’t deserve it. AT. ALL. It’s amazing how we can think about this at times. When was the last time that you’ve given up your comfort, just for somebody else to get comfortable? I know somebody who did this. Jesus, who is in His COMFORT zone [where His father is; where His amazing riches are] chose to go here on earth. He chose to leave His comfort zone and chose to die for us. He did not just die, He died a BRUTAL death. A death on the cross. That’s not all, He died, without sin!!! He lived the life that we should have lived, and died the death that we should have died. He chose to leave his comfort zone just to have us back again! IMAGINE THAT LOVE. Oh, and we’re not just talking about some random dude on the streets here. We’re talking about the KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS! WOW! So what’s stopping us from being selfless? What’s stopping us from sharing that love to other people? Will we just allow selfishness to reign in our hearts just because being “comfortable” is the best way to go? By no means!


Sometimes, we may claim to have this relationship with Christ and we may have followed some of His commandments, but when we see other people who are not doing it, we tend to look at them with hate in our eyes. We look at them with judgement in our hearts [this is without even knowing their stories] and obvious hatred with our actions. We then secretly spread gossip about them, thinking, “Why is he that way? I thought he’s Christian? Why is he acting that way then?”. It’s amazing how God knows are innermost thoughts, yet still loves us the same. We tend to focus on ourselves too much that we sometimes, become self-righteous. We sometimes forget that we’re not perfect and that we also stumble and fall. We then can’t extend grace. It becomes hard. Looking at God’s example, we may see that even if He is perfect, He chose to send His only son here on earth NOT to CONDEMN us, but to forgive and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Why then, can’t we, sinners, love other people? Why then, can’t we, sinners, extend God’s grace instead of judging other people?

Let’s Crush it: The “ME” mentality. 

Remember who you were before you got saved. Dirty past ain’t it? Imagine if God did not love you enough and just thought about HIMSELF and HIS SAKE. What will happen to us? What will happen to you? It’s time to give that pride up! If Jesus Christ was able to humble himself, then we can too. Then YOU can too. It’s time to be selfless! Enough of ourselves and more of others! What can we do to make others feel loved? You thinking of something? DO IT! It’s time to put the glory to The One who truly deserves it! Let’s not steal what’s God’s, okay? You are loved! You are precious! Be secured in that fact. Give the glory to Him ALONE! 🙂


Say a short prayer, asking God for forgiveness for thinking about yourself most of the time. Thank Him for being selfless and for stepping out of His comfort zone in order for us to have comfort [to be with Him for eternity!]. Ask Him to point out areas in your life that need change. He is willing to change you! Remember, we can be dead to sin and alive in Christ! Let the Holy Spirit move! 🙂

Think of ways to show somebody selfless acts of love! Share us your stories and don’t forget to use the hashtag, #TheSuicideSeries! Share your experiences of victory! 🙂

Also, don’t forget to connect with me on social media for more updates!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter: @shekinahbongco

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Like my facebook page for more updates, that’s Shekinah Bongco [Basically everything is Shekinah Bongco. Everything is about me! Whoops.] Just kidding! Good day and God bless you! 🙂

Blog Series, Life Lessons

The Suicide Series [The Victim Mentality]

Hey ya’ll I’m back! I’m so excited to share with you the first installment of this blog series. If you haven’t read the introduction for this series, you may read it here. Now that you have an idea on what this series will be about, let’s just, hop right into it.
Our Current Mindset
Have you ever felt insecure? Ya know, that feeling when you flip through magazines and see pictures of models who have perfect bods. On the other hand, you check yourself in front  of the mirror and see… well, the girl with Tina the talking tummy. Oh well, so much for my white chicks reference.
If you haven’t felt insecure [which I highly doubt], great. I’m so happy for you, but have you ever felt so dirty? You look at your past and you see dirty old you doing things that you now regret and you just feel so… worthless. Shame just fills you up and it’s as if there’s no hope. It’s as if you can’t change. It’s as if you’re stuck in a black hole and nobody can ever take you out.
Or maybe you’ve been bullied. Maybe life’s been hard for you. They’d laugh at you. Throw inside jokes about you, or even leave you all alone at lunch. Trust me, Katie, from the Mean Girls, is not the only one who has experienced that. I did. Maybe you did, too. Did this experience bring a traumatic effect in your life that you, all of a sudden, fear rejection? And because of this fear you see yourself pushing people away [even people you love] in order to avoid social interaction and well, eventually avoid pain.
These experiences show a pattern and if we can identify it, we can see that it’s all about some negative thoughts that may be resting in our brains. We must know that these are lies. These are ALL LIES. We must remember that the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but Christ has come to give us life and life to the full!
God’s Intervention
While I was battling with these thoughts, insecurities, feelings and fears, God revealed some things that changed my perspective. Here are some of what He revealed to me:
He revealed that the reason why we are insecure is because we do not delight in the way He created us. We compare ourselves with others and it just makes us miserable. If we can just shift our focus on him and see His amazing design then we might just praise Him cause we are created after His own image. We should not settle for the world’s standard. We are His masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fear of Rejection
He told me that the reason why we fear rejection is because we are too afraid to get hurt by other people. The result of this is pushing people away so that we won’t get hurt anymore. This is the reason why sometimes, we just act like losers who claim to be worthless. NO! It shouldn’t be that way. It says in John 1:12, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”. That’s awesome news! We are God’s children! [That is, if we’ve accepted Him as Lord and saviour already]. If we are children of The King, scratch that, THE KING OF KINGS, then what does that mean? That means that we are princesses and princes! If we just focus on Him and not on ourselves and our surroundings, then we would find out that we have been ACCEPTED already! Not by any insignificant person, but by the KING of KINGS! WOW!
Worthlessness and Hopelessness
It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. For those of us who feel like there’s no hope, there’s good news. If we have accepted Christ, it is said in His word that if we are in Christ, then we are his new creation. Let’s not be stuck in the past. God is allowing us to move on! We must remember that He has already made us new. Our worth should be based on the finished work of Jesus Christ and not on ANYTHING ELSE. We should put our hope in Him. He makes ALL things new and that includes, you.
You may be reading this thinking, “Shekinah, you just don’t know my situation!! You don’t know how broken I am!!!”. Well, I’ve said that in the past [depression stage] and I’ve just realized that my focus wasn’t on Him. Maybe, just maybe, the reason why He allowed these thoughts to linger in our minds is for these thoughts to break us, so in our broken state, we may find ourselves whole in Him.
Let’s Crush it: The Victim Mentality
You are not a victim anymore! You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus! We are not slaves of sin, but we are slaves of righteousness! Enough is enough. We should not allow the enemy to put our focus on ourselves. We can live victorious lives! We must fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of our faith.
Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are loved. Know that you are accepted, not rejected. You are loved and you’re not hated. Have you surrendered your victim mentality to Christ yet?
Say a short prayer thanking God for creating you in His image and likeness. Thank Him for accepting you as His Child. Thank Him for freeing you from being a victim of your past, your fears and your feelings.
Blog Series, Life Lessons

The Suicide Series [An Introduction]

Hey ya’ll. I’m back. I’ve experienced the ever dreadful writer’s block recently and IT. JUST. SUCKS. Anyway, I thank God cause I’m back on track! Today, I’ll be launching my blog series entitled, “The Suicide Series”!!! Some of you may now look at the title and say, “Is she promoting suicide?”. Just a little disclaimer here. Hehe. I am not promoting suicide. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past and that stage is not pretty. It’s dark, it’s ugly and it’s the worst stage that one can be in.  In this blog series, I won’t be talking about my suicidal thoughts, experience, and all that jazz. Instead, I will write about killing “some” things about ourselves.

If you still don’t get what I mean, let me cite the verse in the Bible that inspired me to write this blog series. It says in Romans 6:11, “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ Jesus”. Yep. That’s what I meant by “Suicide”. When we talk about suicide, we define it as a person killing himself. In this series, we will crush wrong mindsets. We will “kill” anything that has something to do with ourselves until there’s nothing left of us and ’til the only thing that’s left is God. The goal of this series is for us to realize that we should cling on to God alone for Him to give us the ability to be dead to our sin, and alive in Christ. This starts by having a realationship with Him. Yep, I wrote that right. Realationship. We need to have this REAL RELATIONSHIP with Christ and that starts when we accept Jesus Christ as our LORD and SAVIOR.

Accepting Jesus as LORD and SAVIOR

When we accept Jesus as Lord this means that we put Him over EVERY area of our lives. Remember, if He is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all. Lordship is important in this relationship with Him. Because Jesus is now our Lord, this means that we should turn back from whatever the Bible calls sin. This means that because of Jesus, this life that we live is a life of righteousness in Him and not a life that gratifies our flesh.

I’m so excited for this blog series because sometimes, when we study the Bible and discover some things that we need to let go of, we tell ourselves that it’s hard to change our ways, it’s hard to obey God and all that. The thing is, that’s true. It’s hard to change our ways and it’s hard to obey God if we still rely on ourselves. But, if we surrender and let God work in us, then we can do it! That is great news. We must remember that sin has NO POWER over us and that it is the Holy Spirit that will guide us and give us the ability to do the good works that He has prepared for us.

Now that I’ve made a brief introduction of my blog series, may you join me in unravelling some parts of ourselves that we need to get rid of?

Don’t forget to connect with me on my social media accounts for more updates!

IG: @shekinahbongco

Twitter: @shekinahbongco

Snapchat: shekinahbongco

Facebook: Shekinah Bongco

Oh, and don’t forget to use the official hashtag of this blog series #TheSuicideSeries! Thank you and God bless! 🙂

Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

The Ghost of The Past Takes a Visit.

Hi everyone. I’m back. I will take the challenge of posting a blog post a day (as if I can do that). Anyway, today I’ll be talking about a very VERY personal topic which is my past. 🙂 I’ve joined our Church’s mid-year prayer and fasting and I was asking God to change my heart. Apparently, I’ve been reminded of my past and IT. DID. NOT. FEEL. GOOD. Do you know the feeling of opening a wound and putting some salt in it, nope RUBBING some salt in it? Yep, that’s what I felt. Well, not literally though. I got reminded of my past and it just haunted my mind. I’ve been staring at walls and I kinda ate tons of food. And when I say TON… I mean A LOT. (You’d even wonder if there’s more space in my big ol’ tummy). I’ve been asking God if it is possible for me to change. I mean, I’ve been struggle with my attitude and I’ve been TRYING SO HARD to be “good”. You see, I just gave up yesterday. I felt like I just CANNOT do it anymore. I give up. I just can’t change for the better, but God is so great. He reminded me that truly, I CANNOT do it on my own. I cannot change myself. Only His spirit can! He reminded me of things that I needed to remember during this pruning season and here’s a list of my struggles and what He told me about these.

     I am such an envious and jealous person.

                     This is an awful struggle that I have had since I was young. I’ve always wanted to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, so whenever someone better comes along the envious and jealous side of me, NATURALLY comes out. I just can’t control it. I would feel so bad cause someone is better than me. God is just good for reminding me that I should not be a jealous person, He created me fearfully and wonderfully that is why I need to focus on pleasing only ONE audience, and that is Him.

     I am such an insecure human being.

It’s pretty obvious that when a person becomes jealous he or she has some insecurity issues. I’ve had insecurity issues ever since and I’ve been struggling a lot with this. The Lord is good for reminding me to put on my helmet of salvation which assures me of my security in Him. I am His princess and I am His masterpiece. Other people may be prettier than me, but I must remember that my security should not depend on that, on my grades (YES, I am SUCH a grade conscious kiddo, ever since nursery. HAHAHA. More on that later), and on anyone else, but Him. 🙂

      I am such a grade conscious person.

Some people don’t care about grade conscious people, but some people just find us pretty annoying. We worry about the slightest things in school and we get sad if we don’t get our goal in school. I’ve always been a grade conscious person. It strengthened now that I’m in college because I currently have a scholarship grant so I just felt that I needed to exert extreme effort in getting my grades up in the air (what even am I saying? I lack sleep. HAHAHA). God reminded me that my performance in school should never define who I am. He also reminded me that He loves me NO MATTER WHAT. He also told me that I should be more concerned with how I treat people in school more than my grades, because He is a relational God and He doesn’t want me to have broken relationships just because of my grades.

I am TOO proud.

Oh yes, I’ve been extremely boastful about who I am and what I can do that I sometimes forget to give God the glory. Also, I tend to forget to humble myself before Him and THAT AIN’T GOOD. He reminded me that I should not think highly of myself and instead consider others better than me. 🙂


There are several other things that I have battled with (and I’m still battling with) and I couldn’t name these all in my blog post (trust me, that would be a bore). The point is, God reminded me that if I remain in Him and humble myself before Him, He will renew me like never before. He also reminded me of 1 John 1:9 (ESV) “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”. I wrote about my past not to confess my sins to God publicly. I’ve already done this and I wrote this to write about what I’ve been learning in this journey with The Lord. If you are reading this and if I have done something wrong to you, I ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that I am weak and imperfect. I hope that you may forgive me for whatever it is that I have done to you. Be it backstabbing, gossiping, you name it! I hope that you confront me and I hope that we can talk about it, for us to fix our relationship. I am willing to receive feedback and I am willing to learn how to improve with my behaviour. 🙂

To end this blog post, I would like to say that I feel blessed because God has reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which states “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”. This is such an encouraging verse because even if I am imperfect, God’s perfect love washes over my sin and continually makes me new. This news is so refreshing. 🙂 I would like to encourage you today! If you feel like your past is haunting you, do not fret! Confess it to the Lord and He will forgive you. He will continually heal you. He has won the victory! IT IS FINISH! 🙂 I just pray that we continually live lives pleasing to Him. 🙂 Yes we will stumble, but we have the power to get rid of ourselves. 🙂 No longer do we live but Christ lives in us. 🙂

P.S. The Picture is not mine. Credits to Kat Uytiepo. 🙂

Life Lessons, Personal, Testimony

Her Death that taught me how to live.

              A year ago, my cousin breathed her last breath. She had a great big battle named, the big C. It was a struggle, but after that last breath, she was peaceful than ever. No more tears. No more pain. No more big C. A lot of people may think that she have lost the battle, for she was the one who gave up her last breath. I would like to believe that that is not the case. I would like to believe that my cousin, though now gone, has won the battle. It is written, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. This verse in Romans 8:37 gives me joy. I just know that because my cousin accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior, she is now with Him in heaven. I just know that nothing shall EVER separate us from the love of Christ and that reassures me that even if she is now gone, she is now happy with her creator. She is now happy because she has that amazing love that cannot be taken away from her. Given that it is her first death anniversary, I would like to honor her by sharing with you what she taught me over the years.

Ate Cel

She taught me how to love UNCONDITIONALLY

My cousin is not the perfect cousin. She made decisions that made me furious. Yes, that is one confession that I would like to make, but despite that, she taught me how to love someone unconditionally. Isn’t this the Christ-like love that we need to possess? She helped me to love like Him. She helped me to love, period. I did not love her because she was good to me. I did not love her because I’d get something in return. I did not love her because of anything else, but I just did, because I chose to. I chose to love her because while we were still sinners, Christ has loved us already. This makes it easy for me to extend His love towards others. This makes me, love her.

She taught me how to step out of my comfort zone to serve

When she told us that her doctors told her that she only has approximately six months to live, God gave me this burden to go to her and to serve her. I was hesitant at first, but after praying for her, I told my mom if I may go to her house to help her. During this time, Fridays are my only rest days, but I chose to step out of my comfort zone to come to her and to serve her, because she needed help. I wanted her to get to know who Christ is and wanted her to have a relationship with Him, even on her last days. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She taught me how to extend God’s grace

Often times we forget how to extend God’s grace to others. We become too legalistic and too judgemental that we just can’t lend a helping hand. My cousin gave me the opportunity to extend God’s grace towards her. She reminded me that God has given me grace and this is the reason why I can extend it to others as well. She taught me how to extend grace. She taught me how to serve. She taught me how to love.

She may have left us, but I know that I will keep all these lessons in my heart. All in all, I’ve learned to treasure others even if there are individual differences. I wouldn’t want to see them in their death bed before I change my mind. Even if my flesh dictates me to neglect all these lessons, I believe that I can apply all these lessons in my life, by God’s grace. I can’t do it on my own, but I can do it, in Christ Jesus who loves me.

Start now, while your loved ones are still alive. Don’t wait for them to die before you change your mind and fill your heart with regret. Start now. We can do it! 🙂

Are you willing to apply all these in your life too?

Life Lessons, Personal

The Father to the Fatherless.

Happy Father’s day! I don’t know about you, but I thank God for my dad. I am so blessed to have him in my life and I am grateful because He is still here with us. You may be reading this and you may feel like this is the worst day of your life. You see children happily skipping around the park, holding firmly to their father’s hand, while here you are, wishing that he could still be here for you. If you are this person, I would like to encourage you.


It’s such an encouraging thing to know that even if your earthly father is not bodily present, you have a heavenly father who is with you wherever you may be. Can you imagine the King of Kings and The Lord of Lords to be YOUR father? I mean, imagine with me. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords wants to have a relationship with you! Yes, you. It’s just amazing to think that God, who is so mighty and so holy, has this desire to be your heavenly father. How can He be our heavenly father? He can be our heavenly father if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. If we do that, we can now be called His sons and daughters.

I don’t know what your situation is today and I don’t know if you already have a relationship with God, but one thing is for sure. There is one thing that I know. I know, that even if you are fatherless, the God who made this earth is calling you by name and is telling you that He loves you! HE LOVES YOU! He loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for you. Such amazing love! If you here are sad and lonely this father’s day, I want you to know that you are loved! You can celebrate and the only reason why you can is because you have a Heavenly father. Allow me to celebrate with you! Happy Father’s day to your dad! May You enjoy His presence today.

If you want to have a relationship with Jesus by accepting Him as Lord and Savior, send me an e-mail at I’d love to lead you to a prayer that will make you do just that. God bless you! YOU are loved! 🙂